Expectations, Good or Bad?

What are expectations? Do we have them? Are they good or bad?

Expectation means the act of expecting. Eager anticipation. Looking forward to something. An attitude of expectancy.

Looking forward to something with great expectation is wonderful. Being eager for an event is great, excited and looking forward to a special day or a new job is awesome, so we should have expectations, but do we keep them in check?

Our expectations should be all about us, meaning, — what we are looking forward to, what we are eager about, and what is happening in our life. The focus shouldn’t be the expectations put on us in an unrealistic was or a selfish way by someone else. Or the focus shouldn’t be on others either. Let’s dig a little deeper to understand what the healthy boundaries are.

When we transfer our expectations into someone else’s life that is where another problem can start. When we put our expectations on someone else and bring out our “expectation ruler,” that is where the problem starts. The problem is starting with us, due to our expectations in them, — but from our guidelines… then we transfer those expectations to the person. They may or may not even know what we want and expect. Most of the time in these situations the expectations we are expecting are unrealistic too. Double check or look in the mirror here, — would we want the same expectation put on us?

Could it be our expectations are all about us and nothing to do with the person we have placed it on? It usually is. Do we have a right to put our expectations in life on others? Should we have expectations on others we are not even willing to live up to in our own life? No. We really should not have expectations for someone else’s life that they don’t want or need for themselves.

By the meaning of expectation we should really relearn the word. I think we all have experienced the feeling of expecting something from someone and we have been disappointed. But who disappointed us? We did. And usually because our own expectations from a person were not met. In most situations people are unfair in what they expect. They have never spoken what they needed or wanted. They have sat and watched and then when the person didn’t do what they expected, oh boy! Expectations turns to judgement. And in most situations the person being judged did not even know they were expected to do something or be something. And can we expect someone to be something we want just for us? Or should we be the best we can be and then find people we love for them being themselves also?

Expectation does not have to be an ugly word, — have we made it into one? Are our expectations to high for people in our life? Are our expectations to high for us? We should use the word and the feeling when we or someone we love is looking forward to something wonderful about to happen. We should communicate and love the people we surround ourselves with. Love them for
them. Love yourself for you. Goals and reaching for great things is wonderful, never stop expecting blessings! Don’t box in your expectations in, be flexible as they unfold.

There is nothing wrong with high expectations or setting the goal high in your life. Not talking about that. The key to that is you are setting those in your life. Shoot for the moon is my motto!

We can be pleasantly surprised, in many situations in life, if we enter them with an eager expectation of what blessing may come out of them. Be eager, but let life unfold. In your relationships be a true friend. Love yourself, so you can love others with no expectations but with an open acceptance.

If you are someone who is trying to live up to someone’s expectations all the time, just a hint here, it is not going to work. People who demand, who judge, who need everything to be about them, will never be satisfied. You will never meet their expectations. Again, expectations can be good just make sure they are realistic for you and others. If you really need something let the
person know, ask. Then for yourself and them, be flexible on what they can and can’t do.

Set yourself up for some wonderful, pleasant surprises and keep your expectations right where they should be!

Have a beautiful day,
Ginae

When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.”
― Donald Miller

Recommended reading, Five Star God by Ginae Lee Scott